I walked to this small, old shopping arcade not to far from a hotel Chennai India where I was staying . I don’t remember the district, but it was old and was in what used to be the central part of Chennai before the city began to burst forth. I saw tons of bicycle rickshaws and noticed that the rents were high here due to being centrally located. I also noticed there were many people sleeping on the street, even the bicycle rickshaw drivers sleep in the cab part. The auto rickshaw drivers sleep in their vehicles.
The reason I was here is because I was to meet my friend’s family, including his newborn baby. She was a happy baby, always smiling. Watching her made me ache for my son, John, both as he was and as he is now. My friend invited me for lunch and I ate some very simple food and talked with his wife. She’s a professor, like my husband and is planning to work in Australia early next year.
My friend explained how arranged marriages work. There’s usually a go-between and often it’s a family member or a friend of the family who becomes the go-between. They can also hire a company to help out too. Mostly, you end up marrying someone in your own caste. He told me love marriages are rare, but are on the increase. I’ve known two friends here who got married for love rather than family pressure. I really can’t say which system is better, but I most definitely lean towards the love aspect. My friend asked me if it is better to have someone pick your mate based on a long-tested formula? Or, should we leave everything up to chance and try to meet that right person, never knowing for certain if we’ve made the right choice? I told him, no matter what, love is a big chance.