The Success Chain

One of the more difficult things to reconcile on any spiritual path is that distinction between self and other. There are times when a certain kind of rugged individualism seems to be the key to unlock the secrets of success, but there are more instances where the opposite is true. It’s not very easy to build any kind of spiritual life where there isn’t a central notion that everything is connected, and there is no such thing as an individual.

This is probably best represented by that very common but useful metaphor of sitting. Sitting still is impossible for a busy mind, but it is always possible, so it is almost always necessary to still the mind. The best way to do this is to sit still. These circles of logic make no sense on the surface, but come to work very well when they are put into practice. The notion of being still, or set , has roots in Sanskrit. It most likely comes from the word satjana , which has both connotations of stillness as well as of nobility. Here already there are things that seem to uproot a sense of success, where there are older notions of the same thing that are not based upon individual achievement, but on the collective.

The notion of the collective is not always one where the individual gets lost, absorbed into the crowd. It is much more likely, and much more useful, to consider it as a way of seeing oneself in relation to a larger whole. It is like being part of a cloth. The cloth metaphor is one that does tend to repeat across cultures and across time. There is sometimes an emphasis on one’s own line in relation to spiritual action. The line or lineage is not limited to spiritual practices in the east, or the west, or in any of the earth religions. It occurs and recurs everywhere, because one is, in essence, the living culmination of the teachings of the ones who taught before us.

The word itself, line, comes from linen , which is also the root for the flax seed. The flax is popular now for its immense nutritional value, but it is also the source of cloth. The line, then, is that very thing that connects us in many ways, and to be part of a cloth is a useful metaphor for what are very real connections in many spiritual teachings. Here one can start to catch a glimmer of that thing that makes personal motivation become a necessity, and even an inevitability, because there are forces at work to help make it into a reality, because it is a birthright.

Study after study has found that moving is one of the most stressful events in life. This is due, in large part, to the fact that humans don’t really like change. People may say that they thrive on change, but there is an evolutionary resistance to new environments — places that are unfamiliar mean that it is harder to assess threats, find food and water, and feel safe. So, even those who like change will probably experience a bit of disorientation and stress when the move actually happens.

For many, the stress starts as soon as a decision is made to move. Having to find a new place to live, whether by choice or do to external factors such as a career change, marriage, or foreclosure, involves a lot of choices and choice equals stress.

There are some ways to make the process of looking for a new apartment or rental home easier. Real estate websites are a good place to start. For example, Daniel Drimmer created Starlight Apartments to bring together rental apartments in cities across Canada in one place. There are actually a number of property management and apartment rental companies that pool multiple listings in one site. They make it very easy for a prospective renter to search for available units by location, size, price and amenities. The best sites offer virtual tours to view properties online. This allows individuals to weed out listings that don’t meet their need, leaving a few good prospects to check out in person.

Another option is to work directly with a realtor. Many realtors handle rental properties as well as sales. They may do double-duty as property managers or simply list rentals that are owned by their clients. Identifying property or apartment management companies is another way to narrow the field. Agents will sit down with couples or families to identify the type of apartment that best suits their needs and then the agent will do the work of sorting through all the listings.

The best way to go about finding an apartment is the same as with any big purchase or investment: Identify the absolute needs, such as price range, number of bedrooms, access to transportation or schools, etc. Then list amenities that are preferred, but not necessary, like a heated swimming pool or exercise room. Make sure that deal breakers are clearly identified and then prioritize the remaining items. Use that list when talking with agents, searching websites, or even when looking through traditional classified ads. Keep to the list and the resulting decision will be much easier to make.

The desire to put on a show goes back to childhood for most people. For society, it goes back centuries, perhaps millennia. The desire to entertain and delight audiences while garnering attention and adoration for the self has become a key personality trait for a large segment of the population. They may not seek out careers in the performing arts , but they will take advantage of every opportunity to show off, take center stage, or otherwise become the center of attention at any event, gathering, or during the course of daily life.

There is nothing intrinsically wrong with this desire to showcase personal talents and personality. The only danger comes when that desire for attention becomes toxic narcissism. However, a healthy dose of narcissism is a good thing. It’s just a matter of channeling it properly.

Some people express this tendency by being the class clown in school and then the “funny guy” at the office. Others call on specific talents, such as singing, dancing, or playing a musical instrument, to give them the occasional opportunity to perform in a church choir, out at a club, or during a party. Some go to elaborate lengths to entertain, such as renting Kiss Costumes for their weekly Rock Band game or dressing in period clothes for a Renaissance Festival. Again, there is nothing wrong with these behaviors. They are simply honest expressions of an inner performer.